Crushing the Ego 🍭

We all have moments of weakness….  Moments where our ego decides it’s time to kick of some shit and make us doubt our awesomeness.  The ego trigger is different for everyone but there are some common themes.  

Are you single?  Dating is a huge one!  The person you are into doesn’t call, or seems a little distant.  Are you over-thinking it?  Maybe they just had a bad day?  Maybe they are just pre-occupied?  You have just a little tiny bit of doubt and here comes the ego busting into the classy wine party with a keg of PBR in a wife-beater.  So crass and unwelcome in the nice serene setting of your zen mind!  You start to get that sinking feeling that maybe this is a ‘here we go again’ moment.  Your past experiences can frame and affirm these doubtful feelings -and then you know the rest.  You overreact, you may text, “Is everything OK, you see so distant??”  Great…. Now you look needy and insecure which is not a good look even if you have the cutest outfit and your hair is just perfect that day.  

Maybe you have a work meeting coming up and you just KNOW it’s going to suck, why-because your ego says so.  This time you are having a nice picnic at a park and all of a sudden you are transported to Wal-Mart on a Saturday at noon and in huge line next to an overloaded mama with screaming kids with an overflowing cart.  Your version of hell might be different-but you get the picture.  

Maybe you started that diet and exercise program and you start having those thoughts of donuts and pizza in your head?  The ego wants you to fail so you can feel shitty about yourself and feel like a failure, once more.  Because if you were SERiOUS and really wanted to lose weight wouldn’t you have done so by now?  Right.

Our ego takes us to hell.  It disrupts our ecosystem and rains on our parade every. single. time.   It makes us doubt ourselves and abuses us more than we would ever allow another human to do so.  The saying ‘We are our worst critics’ is real, we truly are horrible to ourselves in our brain.  I can honestly tell you that if anyone talked to me the way I talked to myself in my head when my ego is running the show-I would probably stab them in the eye with a fork.  No, not really….  Well maybe…. You get the point.

Proven methods of ways to avoid the spiral of ego include:

Rubber band snapping on the wrist coupled with a positive mantra.  For example, in Gabrielle Berstein’s book, “The Universe has got Your Back” she uses the mantra, ‘I choose peace (or love) instead of this’.  

Journaling-this one is a great way to really get to the root of how you are feeling and express the fearful thoughts as a release.  Just be careful not to give those thoughts too much attention and power, what we focus on grows.

Exercise-whether it’s running, walking, OrangeTheory, yoga, or hula hooping, it’s been proven by me that I cannot sweat and have my ego brain at the same time.  It’s just not possible, the hell in your head because the hell of trying to keep breathing while dying on the track, treadmill or stairmaster.

Talking to a friend-While this CAN be effective, be careful.  People have their own agendas and their own issues they bring to the conversation.  If you are worried about your new crush not calling and you talk to someone that just got dumped, well guess how that’s going to go?  

Eating junk food-While diving into Mac and cheese at the hot bar is also temporarily satisfying, we all know the food hangover we get.  Not only does it make your body feel crappy, the ego wins.  Now the ego can compound the original issue with the messages of lack of self control and failure.

Meditation-Isn’t this just always the answer?  Too easy.

So what’s a girl to do?  Well I’m here to tell you, I have found the answer.  I know you are expecting me to say something super zen like all the excellent examples above.   But I’m here to be honest and while those methods DO work, there is one I’ve discovered recently where I can COMPLETELY disconnect until the feelings pass and avoid my past patterns of the need to for immediate reaction.  Candy effing Crush.  Yes, it’s true.  I Candy Crush and I’m not ashamed of it.  I’m a happier person for it-and it’s super satisfying to crunch up the candy and watch it explode with affirmations of “SWEET” and “DIVINE” from the Barry White narrator.  Let me tell you something, I am a better person in part because I have learned how to re-direct the ego, if that means I download a game on several different media outlets then so be it.  So if you get a message to send me more lives-just keep this in mind. 

However you change the course of the ego is a personal choice, but just do it.  Raise the vibration of your life, believe in your sexy self and KNOW that you have complete control of how you direct your thoughts.  Make a choice today to love yourself and the next time the ego asshole shows up at your garden party with his negativity and cheap beer, show him the door.